Cannes-Do's and Cannes-Don'ts

It has been a very, very, very long time since I last blessed the internet community with the fashion related thoughts I have regarding various celebrities and their various fashion accomplishments. But there is a very good reason for that, namely, I had a shit load of exams for College.

So you can rest assured that the break was not me swanning about having the bants and drinking mojitos. 

No, no, no.

They were two months filled with me trying to somehow learn a whole years worth of philosophy in a very short space of time and reading Wikipedia summaries of novels that I was supposed to read in November. 

But now I am finished and have FOUR WHOLE MONTHS college free, so I can get back to being the hack that I once was.

So without further adieu, 

I give you - CANNES

So, obviously, I wasn't at Cannes this year, or any year for that matter. For some reason beyond my understanding LocalLightPollution doesn't yet warrant an invite to the glitzy event in the south of France.

But with the wondrous invention of the internet I was able to creep on all the outfits from the comfort of my own home and judge them from 2,000Km away. 

Megan - 1

People who run Cannes - 0

The "On The Road" Premiere

Kirsten Dunst in Dior Pre A/W 12-13

Beautiful dress, beautiful colour. 

It's inoffensive, but I don't think enough to be overly boring.

It's just simple, and the fushia pink and her complexion doesn't really need to be commented on.

Well played Ms. Dunst, Well Played.

Bonnie Wright in Dolce&Gabbana

Soz Bonnie, but no.

I'm sure you're a lovely girl, you look super friendly and approachable AND you were in Harry Potter (kudos), but this outfit is pretty disappointing.

As something to wear out for lunch, to the shops, for a drink - GRAND

For the premiere of one of the most hotly anticipated films of the year? - NO. 

At least put on a pair of heels next time you're wearing a knee length skirt, okay?

Alexandra Maria Lara wearing Elie Saab Couture

Now, considering that she's married to this guy (pictured below), I really want to hate this dress.

I want to hate everything about this girl, I really do. Anyone who gets to be married to Sam Riley deserves a little bit of envy induced hate, it's just one of those things.

But the issue here is, I really like this dress.

She looks amazing, and as much as I don't want to say it, if I was Sam Riley I would definitely be a happy guy right now.

So, begrudgingly, I will say that this dress was probably one of the best I saw.

Bitch.

Just a picture of Sam Riley to put the previous rant in context.

Wow.

That is all.

Other Premieres

Naomi Watts wearing Marchesa at the "Madagascar 3" Premiere

There pretty much is only one word to describe this.

Fab.

I don't really know what else you can say about this piece.

The colours, the textures, the shape. All amazing.

Diane Kruger wearing Nina Ricci at  the "Killing Them Softly" Premiere

By the time I had been through all the photos of Cannes I could pretty much have done a blog post solely about all the amazing stuff that Diane Kruger wore.

It was all unreal (except one mini-dress which tied up at the sides but considering how good the average was I'll let that slide)

This was my favorite of the pieces she wore.

For anyone who has read my previous posts about A/W12-13 or Couture Week etc, you'd know I love this style of dress. Simple, feminine and with a little bit of embellishment. 

Beaut. 

Jane Fonda wearing Cavalli at the "Once Upon A Time In America" screening

Jane Fonda in three years older than my Granny.

I will repeat that.

Jane Fonda is three years older than my Granny.

What. The. Fuck.

She is SEVENTY FOUR

I'm thinking this may be a trick by Wikipedia to fool me

There can be no way that this woman is SeventyFour.

Fierce isn't even the word.

A Couple of Cannes Party Shots

Jada Pinkett Smith wearing Paco Rabanne at the America Women in Film Party

Really Jada?

Why?

Just. NO.

Please never wear this again. Please.

I'm sure it looked nice on the runway Jada ,They always look nice on the runway

But it just doesn't suit you. Sorry.

Just burn it or something, I don't care what you do with it, just never wear it again.

Tilda Swinton wearing Haider Ackermann A/W 12-13

I LOVE TILDA SWINTON

I think she could be one of the coolest people on the planet.

Without a doubt one of the most stylish

I want to ask her what her secret is, how is it possible for someone to be so fierce?

Maybe one day she'll comment on one of these posts and tell me and the world how she manages to be  so unbelievably fucking cool. Maybe.

The dress is amazing. 

We can just take it for granted that what she wears is going to be amazing.

It's Tilda. It's just a fact. 

***

That's all from Cannes for now

And if you have managed to make it through this post with out giving up/getting really angry by everything said in the post/somehow being offended (Soz Jada and Bonnie) then thank you very much

If you liked it enough then follow on Blogger/Bloglovin

I'm now off back to my glamorous life of ironing clothes and walking my dog

Much Love

xoxox

Couture Week.

Couture week is one which needs no introduction.
For us poor mortals, it's the week we're glued to the Vogue coverage of shows we would sell our grannies to be able to attend, let alone purchase from. I pine, I pine... For my personal song of choice to listen to while watching these shows and crying, click here. Also, swap in the word "money" for "couture" or "Valentino" or something of that nature and you'll get the full experience of my sentiments from this week.

I'm going to do a little bit of opinion on a couple of the shows which I particularly liked/loved/lusted after and a bit on this week's most talked about shows as well. Just so you know where I'm going with this and it doesn't seem like one endless ream of babble.

So, I think to start me off in a good mood for the rest of this post I go straight to Giambattista Valli.
One of the couture world's newest recruits, Valli shows here why he was so ready to play with the big boys of the fashion world in this, his second ever couture show. The designs were assured, delicate and exquisitely executed. The show kicked off with subtle pieces and evolved to his more extravagant ones towards the end.
His lace work and tailoring are examples of his skills in this area and a definite show of why he deserves to be considered in the world of Haute Couture.

The shapes tended toward the 1950's, especially in the more day-wearable pieces. Waists were cinched in and pencil shirts hugged the models. As with Dior and Versace, 1950's style underwear was visable through deliacte lace panels and skirts.

This black Gothic gown is absolutely out of this world. It's like a cross between Morticia Adams and Jane Eyre with just a hint of 1950's goddess from the cheeky glimpse we get of under the lace skirt. 

The clean separation between the white of this structured yet feminine jacket and the harshness of the croc-effect skirt is brilliant. Croc skin was also shown on the Versace Couture show (which, due to my dislike of that brand I won't be covering) and also in Henry Holland's R-T-W S/S12 collection. I'm getting a little whiff of a trend here I think?

It's the detailing on these pieces which really gets me. The black on white floral tea-dress is so sweet and seemingly demure because the top is so exquisite that you almost don't realise the skirt is completely see through, almost.

Valentino, I love you. I know you don't know me very well because I don't actually own any of your clothes, but I'm not just saying it. I love you, like seriously. I'm so smitten with this collection that I don't even know where to start. It's floral, it's sheer, it's demure, it's absolutely fucking gorgeous. Feminine as always, this is a house who know how to dress their girls. They look like the sort of clothes you's put on for five minutes on a rainy Monday morning in January and then all of a sudden you'd be in a sunny French garden walking among the wild flowers while someone handed out flower garlands...Yes, that is my full Valentino fantasy in all it's wonderfulness. And these dresses really do accentuate that fantasy to the max. 

Beaut. I think the neckline and the sleeves are my favorite parts of this dress. The material is so light that it almost seems like the model isn't wearing anything at all so I think it was important to add the flowing skirt and covered up body, it balances out the piece nicely.

I'm sure this would look HORRENDOUS on everyone who wasn't a runway model, but in this context it's a stunner.

It's the lightness of touch that Valentino as a label seem to have that adds a sort of floaty elegance to the majority of their work I think. Why? Why can't I own one of these dresses?

For the interest of a blog post that has an eventual end, I'll keep my drooling over Givenchy to a minimum. 

The textures were interesting and worked wonderfully with the classic cuts used. Also, that embellished neck brace is fierce. That's the only word for it.

An echo of the 1920's glamour with a dark feel, the collection had a serious amount of umph to it. It was classy to the end, yet always there was always an edgy feel to it. 

Dior, Oh Dior why are you doing this to me?

Don't get me wrong, the show was...lovely. It just wasn't what it had been before the demise of the maestro, Galliano.  There's no other way to say it, some of the fantasy and exuberance that he brought to the table, his vision, it just isn't there with Bill Gayton. 

It was all very Mad Men once again at the Dior show. 

Gayton said the inspriation of the collection was "Dior x-rayed", a motif which can be seen in details like exposed stitching lines and seemingly visible tailoring lines on some of the garments.

This red hounds-tooth skirt and top is probably one of my favourite pieces from the collection as a whole. But to be honest, it wouldn't look out of place on a R-T-W runway. Which for me is a big Couture no-no. These clothes are meant to be special. Which for me is the one thing these outfits are all lacking. A something special, that spark that seemed to leave with Galliano. 

Poor Dior, What is to be done with you?

That's all the coveting my poor soul can take for now. My little heart is just breaking looking at all of these...
So I must leave you for now to attend to a life of scholarly drudgery, but a new special feature is coming soon called "The Good, The Badass and The Ugly" so look out for that one.

Go and attend to your lives as usual,
xoxo